Adventures in Inaba
by Yattaro
Summary: Knucklehead hijinks in semi-medieval Japan
1. Chapter 1

Yu Narukami: the very face of homosexual desire. It was through the struggles of him and his krewe in the television world that the world would

survive the drunks and druggies that dominate the Carnival season. What with the prohibition of prohibition and blacks in Medieval Japan, it was only necessary that King Moron would have to be taken down. It would be a long and arduous journey, in much the same way as his penis was.  
Mr. Krabs just finished his afternoon sex ed class for kindergartners when Narukami stopped on his door stopper. The crustacean looked old and withered from across the room, not to mention sweaty from the aforementioned sex ed class. There was a crusty sock on his chest. It matched his Krusty Krab Kock, which was red and steamy (more so than usual).

"Listen here, you little faggot," squelched Narukami. "I need some of your coke to get into the TV again."

Mr. Krabs was glad to oblige, pulling out fifteen kilos of pure Colombian cocaine straight out of his prostate. "This here's my life savings. Don't you go squandering it, lad."

"Fuckin' whatever, dad. I need my fix." Narukami clenched his buttcheeks together in a manner most sexy, and vanished in a puff of SNOOOOp Dogg.

*MEANWHILE IN FUCK-ALLS-VILLE*

"Man, I'm gushing like a fucking fire hydrant," said Chie.

"That'll teach you to stop by the neighborhood Taco Bell at three in the morning, dumbass," chieded Yukiko. "Now let me lick up all that period blood.

A deafening screech filled the packed classroom, causing Chie to spurt a little in excitement. Mr. Morooka, or "Prince Fagmeister," as everyone called him, had entered the room. "EVERYONE TAKE YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SEATS YOU FUCKING LOW-LIFE PIECES OF SHIT." Chie loved it when he talked dirty like that.

Meanwhile, Yosuke was massaging his abdomen while watching Chie ride the menstrual roller coaster. He was in love with Chie, and everyone knew it except for him. He could feel his peptic ulcers allowing his gastric juices to eat away at his insides, but Yosuke just thought it was just a boner. He's not that smart.

Yukiko was busy watching Kanji and Teddie engage in what could only be described as "a sin worse than sodomy" while sensually moaning Michael Jackson's _Thriller_ backwards. They were Yasogami High's power couple due to their collective angelic singing voices.

Prince Fagmeister was busy (de?)railing Chie like the naughty girl she was when the dank smell of decades-old cannabis filled the room. Yu Narukami turned all of the girls except Yukiko, Chie, and Rise (who collectively had one penis) into his own personal stockpile of horse cum. He then absorbed this newfound fuel source into his skin like sunscreen and shouted at the top of his singular lung, "MOTHERFUCKINBITCHASSNIGGERSBETTERFUCKINHAVEMYNEWCOKE," threw a glass plate straight into the soft spot in Morooka's skull, pulled it out and shoved it into his own ass, and left the room in a rissyfit.

Yosuke ran after Narukami, farting every time he took a step. Chie's moans of pure pleasurable agony filled the hallways and sewers, so Yu sat his grumpy little butt down and massaged the area in which he had placed the glass plate. It had broken inside his rectum and had somehow given him a vasectomy. The only kids he could have now would be half-horse.

"Bro…" Yosuke mouthed sexily. "I need to tell you something…"

PLS R8 COMMAENT & SIBSCRUB I WNT UR DIK IN MI AS


	2. Electric Boogaloo

It was a sunny day in November 1939. Poland had just keeled over and died from a sudden case of Nazis. The Soviets and the Germans were playing a friendly match of football in the ruins of Warsaw. Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin were the quarterbacks of their respective teams. Hitler was wearing the knee socks that every Mischling thought were so sexy on him. The former President of Poland was the referee. His head was on a pike.

There was but one spectator to the historic dick contest: Naoto Shirogane. Getting fed up with the smell of Polish fecal matter that emanated from the football (it was made of it), Naoto quickly said "mang fuk dis shit" and left back to her native home of Japan.

Three hundred miles and seventy years later, Naoto had finally arrived in the small hamlet that would one day become a Toyota sweatshop. This was Inaba, in all its glory. In Inaba, Naoto met a young girl named Nanako. She was smoking crack on the street corner waiting for her hos to return.

"Tree fiddy," enunciated Nanako.

"Bitch whatchu talkin about," responded Naoto. She then quickly grabbed the small child and absorbed her into her own voluptuous bosom. Thus the horrible abomination that makes Cthulu look like a fucking Playboy bunny, Naotoko, was born. Some say that she still roams the streets of Inaba to this day, absorbing hos into her ever-expanding tits.

That was Yosuke's secret. He was secretly Naotoko, and he didn't know how to tell Yu "hottie-with-a-body" Narukami. He just wanted Yu to accept him, and pound him in the bellybutton for all eternity. That wasn't his fetish, but he didn't know any better. His _real_ fetish was abducting hos. Hos were like breakfast to Naotoko. Just as delicious but just as disappointing.

Chie's orgasmic grunts were getting rather distracting to both Yu and Yosuketoko, who just wanted King Moron to die so they could enjoy Chie's sexually-appealing forme to themselves. They were mostly attracted to her hair. There were rats living in it. They paid good rent.

"What is it, douchecanoe?" required Narukami.

"Um… bro… I'm a chick," said Yosuke. Then he took off his face. And his clothes. And before Narukami stood the bare figure of Naoto-&-Co. They boinked, much in the same way Naotoko had wanted to do for centuries.

When they had gotten back to class, King Moron had finished plowing Yukiko like a field of wheat. Even King Moron was surprised that Chie was actually Yukiko and Yukiko was actually Chie. He had forgotten it was Halloween again this week. Chie was much too pure to boink King Moron, which is why she was born on the island of Lesbos.

Suddenly, Mr. Krabs burst into the room spewing fire from the hole in which he used to store his cocaine. King Moron got punched in the elbow by the crustacean's fiery fecal flames. He was down for the count.

"BOOOOOYYYYYY!" the entrèe bellowed. "I have something to tell you!"


	3. Ai Cemetary

**Arthur's (Adam's) Nut: Sry it was l8te, *cough cough, throws up middle Endocrine system* i was bisy bein liboor8ted bye Islam.**

Mr. Krabs burst into the room, spouting great shafts of flame from his crustacean sphincter. "BOOOOOOOOOOY! I have something to tell you!"

He had failed to realize that his bastard son was ravishing his gay girlfriend lover in the hall outside. Sheepishly, his rectal inferno stopped in a puff of smoke, and he awkwardly left the room, which was rendered unto itself a stunned silence.

"BOOOOOOOOOOY! I have something to tell you! Again!" the fatherly decapod bellowed, rudely interrupting his son's orgy.

"Fuckin' what do you want?!" Narukami whined.

"Me boy…" started Krabs. "I have a terrible secret." His voice had started to develop a homely, Arkansas twang. "A secret that I've been hiding for…. oh, I don't know… fuckin... eighteen years!"

Yu's schlong instantly hardened to double the length (which is the same length because 0 times 2 is still0) at the sound of a potential mystery. "Go on," he urged.

"Well, me boy…" Mr. Krabs face turned dark. "I did not… have sexual relations… with that woman."

"Holy fuckballs!" exclaimed Naotoko, who was, until now, still rubbing Narukami's horse ejaculate into her ears. "Are you really-?!"

"Yes!" Mr. Krabs interrupted. "Yes… Yes, I am. And it's haunted me ever since. Now, let's get back to business."

A low noise erupted from deep inside the cancerous patriarch. It had a lovely tune to it. Mr. Krabs paid no mind to it, and scuttled away, leaving his illegitimate fruit of his loins to rock Naokotoko's world again. Narukami, however, had other plans.

*LATER THAT DAY IN FUCK-ALLS-VILLE*

The lunchbell ringed a mere seventy-two hours later. All of the sleep- and food-deprived students rushed into the cafeteria like prisoners during a riot. Narukami and his crew, however, meandered from wall to wall like one of those screensavers on old portable DVD players. Soon enough, they had found their normal seating arrangement at the 666th floor of the Junes Wal-StreetMart. It was almost Boxing Day, and the stuffed corpses of kangaroos were hanging from every streetlight, undulating in anticipation.

"So whatcha think's gonna be on the Midnight Channel tonight?" asked Kanji, his homosexuality showing itself very prominently with his erect nostril. Teddie could smell it. He, two, had several erect nostrils to smell it with. Inside his bear costume, he was stroking his three-femaletometer (look it up uncultured bich sharknadoes) ursine-human penis violently.

"I hope it's Girls Gone Wild! The new one from Bourbon Street!" yelled Chi. "Oh, imagine the melons on those chicks!" She started drooling. Two bad the limestone ground melted under the acidic goodness of Chie's sensually saliva.

"Maybe it'll be the new Presidential Debate," chimed Yukiko. "I just can't wait for Trump-senpai to make America great again!" Yukiko promply monswooned, and the force of it knocking all of Trump's head off his hair, leaving the rest of the gang to partake in a quite-literal Hillary Clinton circlejerk.

Once the Motly Crew of Bloody Mary Misfits (each absloutely gushing from each visual oriface butt the left ear canal and Kanji's fourth anus, located on his middle tricep) gathered around AI Ebihara's second corpse, because Naoki was too busy getting snug between the third corpse's labia lips. MRI Crabs climbed atop her voluminous bossom and used his astounding erectile dysfunction powers to separate his body from his Chell. Then they all gathered around his clammering chitin and witnessed what they have all been waiting for, the season finale of Storage Wars, though Rise wanted to watch the next episode of Signfield, so she settled on reading her rainbow.

All of a sudden, the cloch struck 9:74 o'reilly factor™, which is 12:00 am in Ouagadougou. The screen in Mistah Krabbs's mouth shell turned to static. King Moron, along with everyone else who gathered around Yu's scrumptious back door, collectively threw Mrs. Kashiwagi [a feat within itself, for her delicious jugs weighed at least 13.37 mol/kg each (Daisuke and Kou did most of the heavy lifting, Coup more than Dyeske because her 80085 were vaguely ball shaped)] because they were angry that they didn't get to the part with Wonder Woman telling the Teen Titans she was actually the won who overflowed all the men's toilets.

The screen static eventually smoothed out velvetly to show. . .

P.S. Fuck New Coke

P.S.S. really, its that bad

pee ess ess ess-its the spawn of Pepsi (all of them) and brussel sprouts with liver zealosly vomiting all over it in a shower of nuclear splooge

PLS R888 CUMINT ET SERBSLIB I LUV UR 8===D (smili fac)


	4. CHAPTAH 4: AN INCONVENIENT TROOTH?

**ADVENT CHORES IN INABA: CHAPTAH 4: AN INCONVENIENT TROOTH!?**

 **Are Thor's notes: Hay gies, Jus wanna give you an update. Skool has FINALLY stop been eating my pussy out so I has not bee abel to updat as much. Now that my queefings have cum infreequent, i be ayble to updait more.**

BILLARY CLINTON AND AL GORE!

"GASP said Teddie" said Teddie, looking up in euphoric stupidor, for Cangee was thoroughly fertilizing Teddies soil, which was located in his suite. How poopieing in a beer sute gave organisms two Ted, Dojima would never no, but wasn't against experimentation, but that would require getting Adachi to stop seeting himself in Dojima every time he gets home from werk.

Bil was standing in the middle of the Ovel Office, write on the egle's burgeoning bulge, naked as the day he was born, and started to take his soot off. Al Smith was confused, then remembered the talk he had with his mommy when he was seven years old.

 _FLASHBLACK_

"GET IN HERE YOU NIGGER FAGGOT!" Al Gore's mother, Mrs. Trunchbull and Miep Gies, called Al Gore to Al Gore's mother's Al Gore. "yes mome" cried Urkel McFuckBitch (Al's nikename). Miep seezed her opportunity and placed All triangly on her penis qand moaned inn his eeyore "You were born in a suit" she cried as her liquid lava came out her vijayanagar, for her peen was jest a decoy.

 _Jackblack end_

No longer confused, ALan Gore, who Bill mistook for Monique Lewdinski, ran at, like, mock 5 speed and takled Bill in a sexical vise. They fell right on the eegle's elephantile erection, which the eagle greatly a pre-heated. Bill looked Rite Aid©® at Ghore's Moanica bresticals. His i's promptly melted out of their sockets. Al started to lather his little al with Bile's viscuss eye geuse and started to repeatedly Gore Bill's Clinton.

 **OMFGZG I 4GIT THERE WAS A LEMONADE IN THIS CHAPA**

Everyone gathered around Hanako and simultaneously at the same time had an organism, because Chie was using her purse owner powers to simulationaly hand them jobs, spraying Hanako with their scrumpdillyicious semen, like she was a peace of bred in the middle of a circle jerk. She then absorbed their spunk into her being, making her more spunky and increasing her powers.

Back inside Mr. Krabbes shedded carpace, which Mr. Crabs was thoroughly mouthfucking, the E gull was so capturated with the sounds and site's of Billy and Al sexing together and sprayd its milk all oval the Over office. Bill was claus, but Al wanted to here that sound that would meak Bill screm. Ale took Bill's nose and turned it like a dial until it was upside down and absorbing dollar Bill's eye juicy fruit. Then, he did it, Bill screemed just like Howard Dean as his sperm whale jetted from his peeny penis. It w as to much for Al, who's dickical exploded like a bee in Bill's tite heat.

It was in that moment when the Wall Street Journal beehind FunKy StuDent eploded and Mitsubaru road in on her Mitsubaru moterswickle with Akihicko riding her bodacious bubble butt (she used a buffy speel to make it seet liek). As soon as Akihickey slidd of her booootie like the Lucky Charms leprosy khan slid off a rainbow, he opened his meoqth and yodeled "LOoK Behind The sixxy mammalia|" Everbodily turned so fast that there bodd E's got cool whip frum ternig so fast. Behind the still intercoarsering (fe?)men was the Juan person everybody new. The on that thay hopped woodn't get cidnapped. It wus….. … . .. . …..

..-. ..- -.-. -.- / -. . .- / -.-. - -.- .

Thats More Coad fore all Yu uncultured, and Germain, portestant hoses out there.


End file.
